Breakthroughs might not be what you think…

Jun 28

JUNE, 30 2025

It’s not about what’s changing, but more about changing your relationship to what is. True transformation begins within, the most powerful shifts are often invisible but life-altering.

Shift from outcome focus to orientation.

Breakthrough: A Shift in the Nature of Relationship

What is a breakthrough, really?

It’s easy to define it as a big win: hitting a sales record, completing an ultramarathon, landing a TED talk, or even winning the lottery. But if you zoom in, the real breakthrough isn’t just in the outcome. It’s in the shift that happens before the result… a fundamental change in how you relate to yourself, others, or the world.

Most people view a breakthrough as an event. Something happens, and life is different. But here’s the truth: the event is evidence. The real breakthrough is a shift in your orientation, your baseline relationship to your own discomfort, to risk, to trust, to fear, to possibility.

It’s not about waiting for change to arrive; it’s about changing how you relate to what’s in front of you, no matter what it is. There are two major types of breakthroughs:

External Breakthroughs: These come from outside circumstances. You get a random promotion, you win the lottery or new legal regulations help your business. They feel like lightning strikes.

Internal Breakthroughs: These are harder to measure, but more impactful. You learn to trust yourself. You stop outsourcing your worth. You get comfortable doing what once terrified you.

We had a senior-level executive who joined one of our Breakthrough Labs last year. On paper, he was successful: two decades in the corporate world, steady promotions, and a respected voice in his organization. But he came to the experience burnt out, questioning whether any of it still mattered.

In one of our first exercises, a silent, steep hike, phones surrendered, he carried a question he didn’t yet know how to answer, came a moment of clarity. It wasn’t about changing jobs or launching a startup. His real shift came in recognizing how disconnected he’d become from his own needs and desires. He had achieved for others. The breakthrough came not from any external change, but from deciding to live in alignment with what mattered to him, regardless of how uncomfortable or unfamiliar that felt.

Six months later, he hadn’t quit his job, but he had restructured his team, negotiated a 4-day workweek, and started writing again for the first time in a decade. His relationship with himself changed. And the rest followed.

The latest research in neuroscience backs this up: lasting behavioral change doesn’t happen through willpower alone. It occurs when our internal models of safety, reward, and connection are rewired (not re-thought). That doesn’t require a perfect environment. It requires meaningful experiences of moving through discomfort and discovering that you’re okay… or even better for it.

The world may only notice the results. But you will know when the shift has happened. And that’s where the real power begins.

Key Idea

Breakthroughs aren’t events; they’re shifts in the nature of your relationship to yourself, others or the world. It’s not about what’s changing, but more about changing your relationship to what is. True transformation begins within, the most powerful shifts are often invisible but life-altering.

Takeaway

Shift from outcome focus to orientation.

Build your Movement

How might you be relating to yourself, others or the world in a way that doesn't serve you? What would it take to shift that?