It’s Not Hard—You’re Just Inflexible

Jun 2

JUNE, 2 2025

We often call things "hard" when they're simply unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or different from our current identity. The real challenge often isn’t the task, it’s our rigidity, our ego’s refusal to bend. Growth doesn’t always require more strength; it requires more flexibility.

Overcome the rigidity, not just the obstacle.

We love to say things are hard.

Starting a new business. Changing eating habits. Setting boundaries. Having uncomfortable conversations. Learning a new skill. Asking for help.

But let’s be honest, it’s usually not that it’s “hard”. It’s that it’s new, unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or inconvenient.

It disrupts your pattern. It challenges your identity. It threatens the illusion of control. And so, rather than say, “This is stretching me in ways I haven’t been stretched before,” we default to, “This is just too hard.”

But what if that’s not true? What if the obstacle isn’t difficulty, it’s rigidity?

I heard one of my trainers say this the other day: it’s not hard, you’re just inflexible.

Inflexibility is a silent killer.

Not just in your body (though that too), but in your thinking, your relationships, your work ethic, your sense of identity. It’s what makes us double down on broken systems. It’s what keeps us holding onto stories that no longer serve us. It’s why we feel stuck even when the path forward is clear.

Most people don’t need more information. They don’t need more motivation. They need to loosen their grip.

Let go of “how it’s supposed to look.”

Let go of the plan you thought you’d be following.

Let go of who you’ve convinced yourself you have to be.

Because life will flex, with or without you.

The core of inflexibility is never capability. It’s identity.

When something challenges the way you see yourself, your ego flares up to protect the old frame.

That’s why feedback stings.

Why a shift in plans can feel threatening.

Why success in one area can make you blind in others.

Ego says, “This isn’t how I do things.”

Flexibility says, “I’m willing to change.”

Ego says, “I already know.”

Flexibility says, “I’m here to learn.”

Ego says, “This shouldn’t be happening.”

Flexibility says, “Let’s adapt.”

And in that space is the whole game. The Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius nailed it when he said: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

…But only if you're willing to pivot. Only if you're willing to stretch. Only if you're willing to stop white-knuckling the way things used to work.

Let me ask you this: What if you stopped making it “hard”? What if you looked at the thing you're resisting and asked:

What am I trying to protect?

Where am I unwilling to be wrong?

What version of me am I afraid to outgrow?

Because when you stop calling it hard and start calling it what it is: a call to be more adaptable, more open, more courageous… you stop being a victim of your own rigidity.

You become someone who moves, learns, bends, evolves and grows. And that person? That person can handle anything. No Matter What.

Key Idea

Most things aren’t hard, they just threaten who you think you are. We often call things "hard" when they're simply unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or different from our current identity. The real challenge often isn’t the task, it’s our rigidity, our ego’s refusal to bend. Growth doesn’t always require more strength; it requires more flexibility.

Takeaway

Overcome the rigidity, not just the obstacle.

Build your Movement

When is the last time you said something was “hard”? Reflect: was it truly difficult? Or was I just unwilling to adapt?