The Version of You That Won't Let You Change
JUNE 22, 2026
Most people try to change their results while protecting the version of themselves that produced them. Transformation isn't a mindset shift. It's what happens when you stay in the unknown long enough for something that was already there to finally get through.
Find the place where you keep saying yes and then finding reasons not to follow through. That's not a scheduling problem. That's the identity protecting itself. Name it. Then decide whether it's still worth protecting.
Before anyone joins one of our No Matter What retreats, I have a conversation with them.
This isn’t just some application process. A conversation. I want to know where they are, what they're carrying, whether the timing is right. The longer the trip, the more important that conversation becomes.
A few months ago I reconnected with an old friend about joining us for our Chile retreat in August.
The timing seemed perfect. In the last few years he'd gotten a divorce, moved internationally, started a new company. Major pieces of his life had rearranged. His circumstances had changed completely. His identity hadn't had a moment to catch up.
That's exactly the person this is built for.
We talked. It was good. Real. He could feel it. At the end he said: "This is exactly what I need right now. I'm in."
I sent the kickoff materials and confirmation.
He went quiet.
Days turned into weeks. I eventually called just to make sure he was okay. And finally the response came: "Sorry. I've just gotten so busy. And there may be a work project that conflicts."
A week later he declined. Maybe next time.
I wasn't surprised. I've seen this before.
When we're unconsciously protecting something, every excuse looks real. Valid. Totally explainable. The work project is real. The schedule is real. None of it is made up. And at the same time, something quieter is running underneath all of it: the part of us that knows exactly what we'd have to confront if we actually showed up.
So we don't show up.
Here's what I've watched across years of this work: people know they need a new approach. They feel it. They say yes to it. And then life, which is really just the accumulation of every choice that protects who they've already been, pulls them back.
It's not dramatic. It's subtle. Growth calls and we turn back toward exactly what we've already done and who we've already been.
This is the thing nobody talks about when they talk about transformation.
You can want a completely different outcome while every decision you make protects the identity that produced your current one. New results, same self. It doesn't work. Not because you're not trying hard enough. Because the version of you that created the current situation is the same version making the decisions about how to change it.
The unknown is the only environment that doesn't reinforce who you've been. That's exactly why it's terrifying. And exactly why it's the only place where something genuinely new can surface.
But it only works if you step into it and stay long enough for that to happen. Most people feel the first wave of disorientation and leave. They go back to what's familiar and call it not the right time.
My friend will find the right time. I believe that.
And I also know that the work project will be followed by another reason. Until the day he decides, really decides, that who he's protecting is costing him more than what he'd find on the other side.
That's not a criticism. I've done the same thing. Most of us have.
The question isn't whether you want something different.
It's whether you're willing to be someone different to get there.
If that question is landing somewhere real for you, we still have a few spots open for our 2026 Colorado 14er one-day retreats. One day. A mountain. The kind of environment that doesn't let you manage your way through it.
And if you're ready for something bigger, we're opening early access for 2027 international retreats. Location to be announced. You can pre-register now…
The unknown doesn't hand you a new version of yourself. It just strips away what's been covering up what was already there.
Key idea:
You can't think your way into a new identity. You have to step into an environment that doesn't reinforce the old one.
Most people try to change their results while protecting the version of themselves that produced them. Transformation isn't a mindset shift. It's what happens when you stay in the unknown long enough for something that was already there to finally get through.
Take away:
Find the place where you keep saying yes and then finding reasons not to follow through. That's not a scheduling problem. That's the identity protecting itself. Name it. Then decide whether it's still worth protecting.
Build your movement:
What version of yourself are you still protecting? And what is that protection actually costing you. If you're ready to find out, the mountain has a way of answering that question.