Goals Don’t Change Identity. Commitments Do
JANUARY 19, 2026
Commitments reveal you’re willing to risk for them. Goals feel productive without threatening identity. Commitments force action when comfort, certainty, or approval are on the line.
Pick one goal you’ve been carrying. Ask yourself honestly: What am I protecting by keeping this hypothetical? Then make one decision this week that costs you something real.
I didn’t get a tattoo just because I wanted one.
I got it because there are things you don’t get to keep hypothetical forever.
Goals are easy to talk about.
They sound responsible.
They make you feel like a good person who’s “working on it.”
Commitments are different.
Commitments leave a mark. Sometimes a physical one.
What I’ve noticed is: most people don’t fail to grow and change because they lack clarity.
They fail because clarity threatens what they’re protecting.
When someone says:
“I want to get healthier.”
“I want to lead differently.”
“I want to slow down.”
“I want more meaning.”
The real question underneath isn’t what do you want?
It’s: What are you protecting by not committing?
Comfort?
Approval?
An identity that still functionally works, even if it doesn’t feel alive anymore?
Goals live safely in the future.
They don’t demand anything from you today.
Commitments show up in behavior.
Especially on the days you don’t feel like it.
Especially when something is at stake.
That’s when identity changes.
There’s a line from Martin Luther King Jr. that’s been ringing in my head lately and feels especially appropriate today.
He said that, “deep down, we all know there are some things so precious, so eternally true, they’re worth dying for”.
And if a great truth stands at the door of your life, and you refuse to answer it, you can go on breathing for decades…
…but the death already happened.
Not the dramatic kind.
The quiet kind.
The slow erosion of integrity.
The moment you choose safety over truth.
Again.
And again.
And again.
You don’t need to be beaten in the streets to die that way.
You just need to keep avoiding the stand you already know is yours to take.
That’s why I got the tattoo.
Not because ink changes anything.
But because commitment does.
It’s easy to say:
“This matters to me.”
It’s harder to say:
“I’m willing to live in a way that proves it.”
A tattoo doesn’t make you courageous.
But it removes the exit ramp.
It’s a line in the sand. A declaration that says: “I’m no longer negotiating this with myself.”
And that’s the part many avoid.
Not the pain.
The permanence.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
When change stays theoretical, it’s because staying the same is still serving you.
Protecting your image.
Protecting your role.
Protecting the version of you that knows how to survive, even if it no longer knows how to live.
That’s why motivation fades.
That’s why “this is the year” keeps repeating.
That’s why so many smart, capable people feel inexplicably stuck.
The spirit doesn’t respond to goals.
It responds to stakes.
King didn’t talk about comfort.
He talked about standing.
Standing when it cost safety.
Standing when it cost approval.
Standing when it cost everything except integrity.
Most of us won’t face dogs or tear gas.
But we face quieter versions every day.
The conversation we won’t have.
The boundary we won’t set.
The decision we already know is right, but haven’t chosen because it would change who we are allowed to be.
That’s where identity is decided.
Not when you write the goal.
When you take the stand.
Key Idea
Goals describe the future you want. Commitments reveal you’re willing to risk for them. Goals feel productive without threatening identity. Commitments force action when comfort, certainty, or approval are on the line.
Takeaway
Pick one goal you’ve been carrying. Ask yourself honestly: What am I protecting by keeping this hypothetical? Then make one decision this week that costs you something real.
Build your Movement
If your life required a visible stand for what’s most true, where are you still choosing comfort instead?
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