Why "Wanting Change" is Not Enough (And Maybe Even Holds You Back)
JANUARY 5, 2026
As long as change stays hypothetical, nothing has to shift. Commitment collapses the future into now and requires a new version of you to show up.
Stop asking what you want this year. Decide what you’re willing to commit to, especially when it gets uncomfortable.
January is full of people who want change. Maybe you’re one of them.
New habits. New bodies. New leadership style. New sales growth.
And yet… most of it never happens.
The research backs it up.
It isn’t because we don’t want it badly enough. Rather, it’s because wanting change is often the most socially acceptable way to avoid it.
Wanting change feels like progress. It’s aspirational. Signals you desire growth. Maybe even feels responsible. But in and of itself, it’s not progress at all.
It lets us freely say things like:
“I’m working on it.”
“This is the year.”
“It’s getting better”
“I really want things to be different.”
But wanting is safe. Wanting keeps everything hypothetical.
As long as change lives in the future, your current ways of thinking, being and acting can stay intact. No risk. No exposure. No cost.
And that’s exactly why the mind loves it.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
We don’t resist change because we’re lazy. We resist change because our identity, who we see ourselves as, resists being threatened.
Real change, real growth, requires becoming someone new:
Someone who has different boundaries
Different standards
Different conversations
Different courage
Wanting change lets us signal growth without actually crossing that line.
Commitment is different. It’s where things get real.
Commitment removes optionality.
It collapses the future into now.
It forces behavior before the confidence shows up.
And that’s why identity pushes back.
When you commit, truly commit, you can’t hide behind motivation, mood, or timing. You either show up… or you don’t.
Which is why most New Year’s resolutions fail.
Resolutions ask our identity to change without any pressure.
They rely on temporary motivation.
They depend on willpower.
They disappear the moment discomfort shows up.
But identity doesn’t shift because you want it to.
Identity shifts when you commit to something that requires a different version of yourself to fulfill it.
That’s the difference between hoping for change and creating it.
So the real question for the new year (or any time for that matter) isn’t:
“What do I want to change?”
It’s:
“What am I willing to commit to: No Matter What. Even when it costs me comfort, certainty, or approval… (and to be clear, without compromising your morals or values)
Because that’s where change actually begins. Now, if you’re ready to move beyond wanting… here’s what I have to help.
The Free Guide
If you want a structured commitment, something that turns insight into action, the No Matter What Reflection & Breakthrough Guide is designed to support you in doing exactly that. It moves you out of vague intention and into clarity, ownership, and forward motion.
The Retreats
If you know you need more than insight, if you need your body involved, your patterns exposed, and your identity challenged (which we all do, at least from time to time), our No Matter What Adventures create embodied commitment. This is where change stops being theoretical and starts being lived.
Key Idea
Wanting change keeps identity safe; commitment forces identity to evolve. As long as change stays hypothetical, nothing has to shift. Commitment collapses the future into now and requires a new version of you to show up.
Takeaway
Stop asking what you want this year. Decide what you’re willing to commit to, especially when it gets uncomfortable.
Build your Movement
What commitment would make it impossible for me to stay the same?
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