This One Thing is More Powerful Than Advice

Sep 18

SEPTEMBER 22, 2025

We grow not when we push harder, but when we allow ourselves to be seen and understood. That’s where real connection, and real peace (relief), begins.

This week, tell one person the truth about how you’re really doing. Drop the armor for just a moment.

We were halfway up a mountain in the Andes when it hit me:

Most people don’t need advice.
They need to be seen.

The trail was steep, the air thin. One of the group had fallen behind. He wasn’t just tired, he’d gone quiet. When I slowed down to walk with him, he barely looked up. For a split second, I thought I might get swung at.

Instead, I just said: “I see you.”

“I don’t know what you’ve been through. I haven’t lived your life. But I know pain. I know anger. And I know grief. We can all see each other there.”

Silence.
Then something shifted.
Not in me. In him.

The climb didn’t get easier, but the weight did.

We spend so much of our lives armoring up, convinced strength is about never showing weakness. But the turning point is rarely when we push harder. It’s when someone says, “I see you,” and we finally believe it.

Psychologists call this attunement: the act of being deeply present to another person without judgment. Research out of UCLA has shown that when people feel seen and understood, activity in the brain’s amygdala (the fear and stress center) actually decreases. In other words, simply being seen makes us feel safer, lighter, more capable.

It’s like carrying a heavy backpack. Alone, every step grinds on your shoulders. But when someone notices and reaches to grab one strap… even just for a moment… you feel relief. The mountain is still there. The path is just as steep. But now, you’re not carrying it by yourself.

Because being seen is the start of growing.

And connection isn’t built on having the same story, it’s built on daring to meet each other in the feelings we all know too well.

None of us get to the summit alone.
Not in the Andes.
Not in business.

Not in life.

Key Idea

Strength isn’t hiding the cracks. It’s daring to let yourself be seen in them. We grow not when we push harder, but when we allow ourselves to be seen and understood. That’s where real connection, and real peace (relief), begins.

Takeaway

This week, tell one person the truth about how you’re really doing. Drop the armor for just a moment.

Build your Movement

Where in your life are you carrying a heavy pack that might get lighter if you let someone else see it?